Self Fufilling Prophecy

Welcome. I dealt with my mother's early onset Alzheimer's since I was 15 years old until she passed in 2006. This is me trying to makes sense of it all and dealing with all of the guilt, emotions, and feelings towards it.

Cosby show

I just realized how much Felicia Rashad's character truly influenced me.
Aside from the fact that here on the TV growing up is a black family that has money (no Sanford and Sons or Good Times), that is not a mockery of having money (Mr. George Jefferson), that doesn't need a rich white person  to help "save" them (Different Strokes) I mean, truly the color had no meaning to me, which is really the way it should be. . .

This mother, Claire Huxtable, was the rock, while having 5 kids, being a lawyer, and being fashionable and beautiful all the while. I could only hope to strive to be what I thought of her growing up on that show.

drive into work

I go through phases on what I listen to when driving into work. I'll go through a "I am an intellectual, I will listen to NPR" phase, or the cheesy KISS FM radio DJ phase, but if it's music, it actually alters my mood and the entire day's outcome.
Case in point, today, I was listening to the Alt station which might as well just be "we only play music from the 90s" because current "alternative" music sucks station and Rage Against the Machine came on.

Holy crap, I cranked that so loud and rocked out to it. Now, yes I rocked out to it, but it really put me in an aggressive mood. To the point where I was punchy all day at work.

Normally, if I am to pick music to purposely listen to, I choose Bob Marley. It makes me remember that all the stress from the job is just that. Stress from my job. I need to take it easy man. Relax.
Maybe tomorrow I should listen to Pizzicato Five or something so I could be more cheerful...

we'll see. I've got a full hours drive to experiment. . .

interviews

I think of myself as an uber person reader when interviewing someone. I take note of every little detail and specifically face and hands. I remember to this day what people I have hired were wearing on the first and second interviews. (I creeped some employees out with this very stalker-ish knowledge) So here are some tips for those who are about it interview from the most critical interviewer out there.

Clean hands, neat nails. Men, CUT YOUR FINGERNAILS. You can tell a lot about a person from their hands. Don't say to a possible future employer that you are lazy by the way your hands look. And I have to shake that hand of yours, don't make me be thinking about finding my purell during the interview. (I may have a bit of a phobia touching people, but not confirmed.)

Moisturize. No ashiness. Elbows especially. On men especially.

Ladies, firm handshake please. Listen, we live in 2012, none of this wilted hand crap. Get some balls. For an upper management position, a weak, kiss-my-hand type of handshake will 100% not get you the job.

No cleavage. Especially ladies with the big breasteses. Also, if you are well endowed, please don't rest your breasts on the table. Yes, it has happened and yes it is really distracting and not in a good way.

Dress appropriately for the weather. In Texas, interviewing in the summer is a pain in the ass. Wearing a suit in 100 degree heat is not fun. But I understand, we are not all P-Diddy and have the funds to go buy a white linen suit. Take your jacket off and drape it over your arm. Wear a white button down. It will not show sweat as easily as a blue oxford. But for the love of god, don't keep your jacket on if you are sweating like a pig.

Clean up your facebook (do it soon before timeline takes into effect!) or any social media site you frequent. I will look you up. I will find the naked picture of you with side boob. I will see that all you do is get high all weekend. I will find out that you like Nickleback.

Don't cry. I for some reason have had many interviewees cry on me. Maybe it's just me. But I have never brought back someone who got emotional in an interview with me. (I may just be a cold hearted bitch but it really is off putting even if you are very passionate about something)

I will continue to post more as time goes on. These have been the sore thumbs for me in any interview process.

Masami

wow. Procrastinators Anonymous.

http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/

Really. Maybe I will check it out. Later tonight. Or tomorrow. . .


Thank you to my bestie, Victoria for this.
http://www.theclampdownpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/The-Clampdown-Podcast-Episode-7.mp3

Morbid.

I just finished a book called "Stiff" about what we could learn from cadavers. It was very interesting and engaging. There is a chapter of the book about what we do with our bodies when we die. There are many options:

1. Bury

2. Cremation

3. Donate body to Science

4. Donate body for Plastination

5. Become fertilizer

6. Float down a river on fire (my boss' preference) 

7. Be fed to Dungeness Crabs 

#1 has never been an option for me ever since I was young. I never wanted to be buried for some reason. It seems like a waste for my body to be in tact in a box on a lot of land I have to pay too much money for. 

#2 seemed ok to me, but I feel odd about my whole existence going to waste. I am just burned to ashes. You can not use my body for shit if I did that. Like my "afterlife" has no purpose. (Or at least what I believe an "afterlife" to be... that post will come later I suppose).

#3 I could donate my body to science. But the thought of my leg here, my arm there, my decapitated head shuttled off to wherever to have plastic surgeons practice on it seems, well, frankly, unromantic. 

#4 Now, when we went and saw the Body Worlds exhibit, my husband and I deeply thought about donating our bodies to this. But really, are they going to take me when most of their specimens were athletes or at least the very fit? Surely they are not going to take a chubby Asian, right? Unless I live to be 90 or die right now. So then that leaves me back to my original quandary of what to do...

#5 I would love to become fertilizer for a tree. This is my ideal of an afterlife. This is the only way I see myself "living on". There are many ways to do it. I could just be put in a shallow grave and have the maggots do their thing. I could go to Sweden and be frozen by liquid nitrogen, broken into pieces and then buried in a tree field. I have this idea of becoming a peach tree. When I was young we used to have a peach tree in our back yard and it produced the fattest, juiciest peaches I had ever eaten. I want a piece of me to be a fat juicy peach that some child will carry that memory with them throughout their whole life. 

#6 My boss has the most picturesque vision of death in my opinion. Like they do in India - put the body on a boat, light it on fire and float down the Ganges river. Thinking about it - it really sounds beautiful. Do a google search or you tube search on it and, not so much. So the thought is beautiful, something to consider. The reality is grotesque and honestly too much for me to handle. 

#7 apparently, Dungeness crabs could feast on a human body. They love us as much as we love them. I could maybe do that. I wonder if someone eats a crab that had eaten me that a piece of me is in them. Maybe they have a pecan pie later and they might become short of breath or they notice their tongue gets itchy. . .   

Now, if for some reason I die and my organs are able to be used - then that takes priority number one. Then I choose #5. 

I wonder what my fertilizer will smell like...

Here we go.

Launch.

BTW-if you don't like ellipses, don't read this blog.

Forewarning, that's all...